Suggestions from a Cat

​One of the best ways I've found to connect with people is through their pets. 

So, rather than just handing my mom a Mother's Day card for our belated celebration recently, I decided to also give her a card from her cat, Clanci (I call her Clanc-meister).

First, a little backstory.
 
Clanci chose my Mom ten years ago on an otherwise sad day. Mom had just lost her beloved cat of twenty years, Miss Kitty. I suggested that we go the Humane Society that same day – not to replace Miss Kitty, but to find another cat to establish new routines.
 
As we wandered past dozens of cats, one cat in particular followed Mom along the windowsill of a room she was housed in.
 
Like I said, Clanci chose my Mom, not the other way around. They’ve been inseparable ever since.
 
By all standards, Clanci is a spoiled cat. But when I visit Mom, I like to stick up for Clanci because it makes my mom laugh. Which brings us back to the Mother’s Day card Clanci "bought" for Mom.
 
On the outside, it says, “I’m one lucky cat.”

On the inside, it says, “You’re so good to me that I want to spend all nine lives with you!”
 
I got a little creative and spoke for Clanci in completing a list of suggested improvements. I typed it up, cut it out, and taped it inside the card.
 
Mom got quite the laugh out of it, and I suspect she'll return to the card again and again.
 
Here’s the list:
 
A Few Suggestions for Improvement:
 
1. Keep that kid [her great grandson] who visits on Saturdays quieter. 

2. That tuna stuff you give me sometimes needs to happen more frequently. Morning. Noon. And night.

3. I'd like to have more food bowls around the house. In my bed and your bed would be two good places to start. The bathroom, maybe, too.

4. I need to be hand-fed. Surely, you can't expect me to bend over for my food like some common house cat. 

5. You need to get home earlier from wherever you go every day so you can feed me. 

6. Speaking of food, you need to get up earlier to feed me. 

7. Stop covering my scratching post (I think you call it a "couch"). The blankets make it hard to get to.

8. My king-size bed has too much stuff on it. I especially despise the stuffed cat. Is this a joke? Or a threat, maybe?

9. Stop yelling at me when I tinkle around my domain. Don’t you understand that I have to mark my territory?

10. Not that I plan to ever eat another fly, but if I do, and the blasted thing is flying around in my mouth, you must come to my rescue and scoop it out!

Love, 
​
The Clanci-meister